I know I’ve been needing to write words on this even though I absolutely do not want too.

It’s a topic I try to avoid and try not to mention. It’s one I’m not super comfortable bringing up in a broader space because people have opinions and sometime helpful mostly not helpful stories and then they have prayers and Bible verses and things that I honestly just don’t need from those whom I didn’t ask.

But here it is; bottom line: I’m having a really hard time being single lately.

The disclaimers are already filling my head and the things I don’t need from people and the things I have done or to be completely frank don’t want to do.

I am absolutely fine 85% of the time. I’m pretty good on my own. I like space. I like being able to make decisions on my own.

And I would need a bigger bed if I’m expected to share.

But, the last month or so, I’ve felt the feelings of loneliness. I’ve felt like an island, felt like a person who is just outside of everything.

I don’t feel like a third wheel but I do feel like I’m just extra. I’m superfluous.

I’m the odd number.

And I’ve felt very evident feelings of wishing I had a person to come home too.

I’m pretty good at figuring things out on my own. I ask for help when I need it. I’m grateful for the people in my life who have never ever caused me to feel like I’m extra.

But, there are very evident seasons in life where the feelings hit harder and I’m in one of them right now. I’m in a place where the hours seem emptier and I don’t want to cook dinner for myself and I don’t want to make hard decisions by myself and I wish I had a guy I could look across the room at at a party and we both know it’s time to go.

Now, as I stated in the beginning: I don’t like to write about this. When a woman writes or talks about being single it can feel like she’s asking for pity or woe is me or whatever.

That’s absolutely not what I’m doing.

I’m finally pausing to write these words on a Monday because I can list people in my brain who probably have felt the same way but never feel allowed to say it.

I’m writing it because the bigger we let feelings get the more likely they will become the whole feeling and not just part of it.

I’m writing it because I know that I’m not incomplete just because I have seasons where being single sucks.

It’s just that: a season where it sucks and is harder than the last.

So, if you are here with me, I get it. I know we’re going to put on our big girl panties and we’re gonna do the damn thing regardless but we’re allowed to put a pin in the places that hurt.

If you’re sitting in a season where it really, really sucks to be single know you aren’t alone and it’s just that: a season.

With all the love,

Meg