Or at least, I think I’m ready.
When I had two months to go on the World Race last year I was in the middle of Cambodia in a village, hand washing my clothes and taking bucket showers, battling Small Eye, teaching little children English and for a season being a vegetarian because no has time to accidently eat dog.
I had a countdown chain that was counting the days until I hit the United States. I was ready to go home. Ready to be done. I had to firmly plant my feet in the rice fields of Cambodia and pray for so many aspects of life.
This time is different.
I’m not ready.
I am finding ways to superglue my feet into the soil of Mijas.
Ways to soak up every minute around these people I love.
I don’t want to leave this place. The people, the heart, the DNA.
There were parts of last year I didn’t want to leave.
But there is nothing really about here that causes me to retreat.
And that is why I am ready.
I have two months left and I am going to take all I can and infuse myself with this corner of the south of Spain.
And then to quote my friend Patty Reed “I’m going to go do the damn thing”.
I’m ready to step in the river; not test out the water, not stick a toe in, but go and DO and BE.
So this is why I am so utterly grateful that I still have two months to sink my toes into the sands next to the Mediterranean. Two more months to grab hold of all that this place has to offer.
Two more months to live in this place I will always call home.
My vision and dreams feel more real, more part of myself then they EVER have.
I’m ready to plant my feet and build, speak and create life.
As I sat in class today this is what I came to terms with; I realized I’m ready, but I’m not.
So let’s go do the damn thing.