I have realized over the last 6 months or so that I am developing words and phrases that are turning into what I can only classify as “life messages”. It was a concept I didn’t really know about until Spain, until I met men and women who have certain words and phrases that touch their hearts.
I think at 30 I am more then allowed to claim things as apart of my heart and as apart of something that I will always speak on or know.
One of those things is the concept and what I deem the lifestyle of borrowing trust.
Now, before I get into this I am want to be clear and say this: if you know in your knower in the deepest part of you that your trust or even your borrowed trust cannot be given then don’t do it. You know you know.
What is borrowed trust?
Have you ever been in a situation where you were sent somewhere or to someone by someone that you trust and you had to choose in that moment to trust that place or person before you had time to deem it trustworthy? You just knew that you couldn’t give your own trust time to develop and you just chose to dive in?
That’s borrowing trust whether you knew it or not. That was taking the trust of the person that sent you- the trust that they had in the person or place and claiming it as your own.
The concept and theme of borrowed trust is very important in my life.
At first I thought it was something that I first encountered going on the world race. Because I chose outright to trust the Garmon’s and Tiff, Kelly & Joshua with who I was because I had chosen to trust AIM and since AIM trusted those people then I could trust them too.
And then somewhere down the line I gave AIM that borrowed trust back because I had my own.
But I realized that going to therapy was very much about borrowing trust. My therapist was a preschool dad. He was someone somewhat well known and I had to choose to trust him from minute one.
I didn’t have the capacity to do so.
There were people I knew that trusted him. It was a spread out kind of trust but I was able to collect enough of it to hold onto until I had my own.
In a way borrowed trust is like the blankets and toys my little kiddos in my classroom have. They are a small reminder of home. They are a reminder of mom and dad. A reminder that mom and dad left them there and loved them and trusted us. So, even if it takes a moment for the kiddos to trust me, something in their blankie reminds them that their parents trust me.
And eventually the blanket gets lost in the shuffle.
Borrowed trust is important because it gives us the chance to live before we think we might be ready too.
Borrowed trust reminds us that we already trust something.
I don’t think I could have come to Bellingham without borrowed trust.
I had to believe that these people and this place was for me.
I had to trust that when I made this jump I wouldn’t get too bruised.
There are a good handful people in my life who trust this place and this people. They are people who I first trusted on a hell of lot of borrowed trust that I have since given back and replaced with my own.
And because of them and what they have done and who they are in my life I trust this place.
We need to find trust as much as we build it. We need to choose to connect people with trust from others.
You can’t borrow trust if you don’t trust in the first place.
Let’s choose to clear out the bad examples in our lives and replace them with piggy banks of trust that we can take and use.
It will not only change your life but I guarantee it will cause you to move in ways you never deemed possible.