I’ve realized that lately I’ve gotten really bothered when people give a situation more credit than it is meant to have.
I’m a words person (obviously) and I believe in the power of assigning meaning to something that doesn’t merit that meaning.
Like chaos. I used to have an assistant in my classroom years ago who would say every moment of every day was chaotic. I finally stopped them and reminded them they needed to change their meaning of chaos or a simple transition gone slightly awry was going to wreck them.
I also realize I have a high capacity for stress (which I understand is not always a beneficial thing) but it’s also helped me realize that frustrating does not equal hard or rough.
I think in the last few years I’ve worked at trying to describe things in such a way that I can understand them.
Giving a blanket statement to something and assigning it a word that has no descriptors isn’t helpful.
(As an example one of my PET PEEVES in working with children is the use of the word “nice”. It means nothing to a a child. Telling a three year old to “be nice” tells them nothing what you want their actions to do.)
When I started pondering these words this morning I had a Sondheim lyric in my head “Nice is different than good”.
A frustrating situation is different than a hard situation.
A stress-filled situation is different than a stressful situation.
Choosing to start to understand what in the situation is actually hindering us instead of just giving a blanket statement and walking away.
It’s work that feels hard.
(And work that feels hard is different than work that feels bad).
I’ve come to a realization that will not be brand new information to anyone that knows me well: but I’ve allowed my capacities for stress and hard work and chaos get so big they very rarely phase me.
And when they do it’s probably already too late.
So, right now, I’m trying to pull my bubble back.
I’m trying to redefine what all those words look like and I’m trying to reframe how I see them for myself.
It’s lot of work and it will involve boundary setting and it will be hard and also good.
(See what I did there?)
So if you needed a reminder that you are allowed to change sometime at almost 37 that you’ve operated in most of your life you are absolutely 100% allowed too.
Deep breathes to your toes 💛